A Tale of the Guy who feigned Malady

Like any blogger gone M.I.A, I should probably start this post by explaining my long hiatus to my imaginary audience and fans perhaps, if there are any. The frailty with which the latter statement strokes my ego tickles me I tell you. So I will just hit you with the usual ‘I am a medical student’ crass, ergo my absence is self explanatory. Bottom line, I’ve really missed posting here. Its been a while.

I have never had a brain scan done on me, but I have a feeling it would closely resemble something like this…

But here I go again…

There was this day last week, my two nerdy colleagues and I were just from sitting for the mother of all exams. The end of years for the first year of clerkship are surely no mean feat. The hardest part of junior clerkship is perhaps when you have to convince your seniors that you are of at least average reasoning even when sometimes they leave you wondering whether you have the intelligence quotient of an enema bag.

Summarily, I had walked into that exam room with caffeine in my veins and I walked out with diffuse axonal injury. That’s medic-lore for something more severe than a concussion. I actually had to grope out of the examination room. To our utter dismay the university transport available at the time wasn’t enough to ferry all students back to our campus which was half way across the city.

We decided to sketch our way to the bus station and use public means instead.

The scorching tropical sun, noise and choking fumes from the traffic did not make our early afternoon any easier. Couple that with cranky, overly sleepy minds and the colossal duress of examinations resting squarely on our aching backs and we were one glum trio. Somehow, we managed to hop into one of the commuter trains from whence the drama started…

As we waited for a few other passengers to board, some young man got into the bus. Well, there wasn’t much pomp about him until seconds after his uneventful entrance when some chesty, cut-throatish voices rent the front of the bus. Barely craning my neck, I noticed the same guy holding some banners and writhing his frame in the strangest of manner. It was a complicated blend of a drunkard’s gait, a seizure, and worm-like movements. His face was overtly bathed in big beads of sweat, his facial muscles contorted into a worrisome grimace: the portrait of a man who may have been experiencing his worst episode of constipation yet.

At this juncture, thanks to medical school, all my weariness slipped away fast as curiosity immediately sank in its place.

This fellow was passing the miniature banners around begging for money. When he got to the back of the bus where we were seated I tried to study him closely; his demeanor and behavior to figure out exactly what was wrong with him. His fliers didn’t help much either. All they had was a request for financial assistance so he may get medical help and what was supposed to create contrast and earn sympathy: a picture of a younger version of him in elementary school perhaps. Frankly, the only change this guy seemed to have gone through other than his very weird aura was physiological aging. I dug into my exhausted mind to get a fitting diagnosis but it clearly didn’t want any digging into.

Anyway after failing to get any help, the young man shuffled back to the passenger exit. Then something even more strange happened. He just totally snapped out of it. He straightened up and slapped the door vehemently asking the driver to slow down so he could alight. And all about him were clearly amazed and very perturbed by his act. Who really does that?

What do you even make of such a man?

I’ll tell you this. Other than the fact that his performance could earn him a place in a good drama school and probably be a sturdy foundation to a stellar acting career, I will choose to overlook the fact that his moral compass blatantly points to the true South. My diagnosis for such a man is nothing more than severe mental myopia.

Healthy and seemingly talented, he yet chooses to live in the paucity of fleecing plenty of hardworking others off their change. Maybe I am missing something. But for the larger part, I think it shows what happens when we refuse to recognize the profoundness of our natural abilities and hence fail to exploit them in vigor, beneficence and sincere gratitude.

As such this should not merely pass as an experience, but be ingrained as the important lesson that it is. Pulling weird acts in buses makes other people really uncomfortable. It doesn’t pay that well either. Okay, here is the real lesson- If there are better things you can do with your life, never settle for less.

Advertisements

Published by

Muriuki MD

Kenyan Doctor | Aspiring Interventional Radiologist | Lover of Music and Art | Simple | Subtle | Smart | Hakuna Matata!

3 thoughts on “A Tale of the Guy who feigned Malady”

  1. I might know this guy you refer to. Not quite sure the right bells are ringing on this one but i just think i know this guy and my thought everytime i see this guy is what among our many medical school lectures is this condition that looks like a persistent grand mal seizure except that it persists as long as one us in a bus.
    Then again as you say, as doubtful as i am we might be wrong, and hopefully so, because in that case we wish him well.
    Love the article

Speak your mind...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s